I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
