I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
