Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
