It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
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I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
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You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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