He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
