You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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