I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
