I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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