People with herpes should wear stickers.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
