escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
