woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
operation have a gay friend backfired
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
