Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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