just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
