I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
