your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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