Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
