I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize