his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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