We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
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