Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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