Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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