Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
