a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
