We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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