I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
