FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
