respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize