Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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