Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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