I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Me. At least after what I've been through.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
