if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
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You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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