i just had sex bonerless
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
