kristin has been a bad kristin
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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