Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
