Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize