After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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