i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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