I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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