No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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