so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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