Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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