i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
