But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
it hurts more in the daytime
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Randomize
