i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Is it because I queefed?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
