i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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