How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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