We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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