Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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