I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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