Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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