my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
