I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You are the jesus of drinking
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
