Im at strip club and am horny
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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