Plan B is the new Plan A
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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