You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
