I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
