If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize