She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
